As mother nature decides to dump this coldness onto us, it feels like my shoulders have actually become heavier, my hibernation habits have crept in which in turn has drained every last ounce of motivation from me! I didn’t ever expect January to be warm by any stretch, but somehow the mute, white, stillness has brought with it a very sinister, sharp edge that just makes you want to close your curtains, boil the kettle and have a duvet day. Throw in a dose of unbalanced hormones and you have a very mercurial mix of female breakdown!
It all started on Thursday, Jack Frost had already been and made himself comfortable, that was the exact reason why Netball was cancelled this week (bummer) I was really looking forward to it after my performance the week before, I was also going to get a team photo of all my lovelies to post on here in my inspiration page (when I finally finish it) I know I shouldn’t let something like this trip me over, but it is the one thing I really look forward to out of my busy week, it felt like my momentum had disappeared, motivation deflated like a shrivelled up balloon. Feeling low, I comforted, warmth and light-hearted romance movies!
The weekend plodded by in the same docile way, although it has to be said that even though I didn’t work out, I was still behaving! I realised that working out made me so hungry the next day and it really does take all of my strength to turn down bacon sarnie Friday and cream cakes for John’s birthday, however, will power prevailed in all those instances, with that in mind, having not worked out, I discovered that I’m really not completely ravenous! *Cheese Alert* So it really does go to show that if you tune into what your body is telling you, you will have much more control which enables you to keep your hormones in check!
She’s Lost Control
Aside from being one of my favourite songs from Joy Divisions’ Unknown Pleasures, it was also me, on Saturday! Now, I’m not going to beat myself up over this, I’ve had a word in the mirror and moved on, but I can’t pretend like it didn’t happen either! Tasmin was holding a farewell soiree for her late Uncle Peter. Invited, I dressed smart/casual (jeans a little more loose than they were 2 weeks ago YIPPEE) beautiful chiffon wrap over blouse, full hair and make up, black wedges, purse…..Car Keys!! Yes, I was DES! I picked up Tasmin and a few others, parked right outside the pub, found a beautiful spot right smack bang in the middle of a walkway, went to the bar, Tasmin orders a bottle of wine with one glass, she asks what I would like, I replied; “Another glass please!” Before I could even think about what had just come out of my mouth, the wine was poured and the glass was sat right in front of me!! I’m sorry to say, I raised a glass (or two) to Uncle Peter! New Year’s resolution N0. 3 OUT OF THE WINDOW! My 6 month ban lasted 3 weeks, for those of you who know me, that is good going! I don’t drink a lot, at home at least, I’m a binge drinker! Will go from one weekend to the next without touching a drop, but every now and then I tend to drink my own body weight (179lbs!) in pretty much anything! It’s happened, I’ve looked at my resolution, re-evaluated and came up with this little gem;
New Years Resolution No. 6 Only drink at social events, such as birthday parties, christenings etc, no drinking at home and no ‘nipping to the pub for a pint and a packet of pork scratchings’!
To round everything off, I actually braved the cold and ice and went for a run/jog! “She must be mad” and “laugh if she fell” were the comments going round as I passed dog walkers and scruffy kids, but I didn’t care, I felt energised, the cold kept me going, back home for a bite to eat (nothing exciting, just rice and beef sausages), bath and blog!
Sensational work! I have actually managed to drag some sort of acceptance and positivity out of my bleak week!
Remember to check back tomorrow for my third week weigh in!!